Types in Base-Fossil: Water

This is going to sound weird, but it feels like the Water type in Base-Fossil largely got kneecapped by its best card. A large number of Water Pokémon in these old sets have attacks that scale with the number of Water Energy cards attached to the user. The obvious intended synergy is for the player to use Blastoise's Rain Dance to charge up these attacks.

The problem is that Blastoise was always going to have a "best partner" and a "second best partner." As a result, most of the cards meant to pair with Blastoise are just background noise. So while Blastoise elevates two cards to the top of the format, it relegates most of the remaining Water-types to being background noise in starter decks.

Squirtle is at least leagues ahead of Bulbasaur. Bubble has some stall potential, which is one of the best things you can have on an evolving Basic. Withdraw is weirdly redundant, but Squirtle didn't need a second attack anyway.

We can't ignore that 40 HP, though. Many a game has been lost because of a Lightning-type attack smashing through a lone Squirtle in the active. Still, it's an auto-include in one of the best decks in the format, so it was never going to get a terrible score.

Grade: 5/10

Wartortle is a strange case of anti-synergy. Bite is a very efficient attack if you attach a Double Colorless Energy, providing a consistent way to do 40 damage on turn 2...except that the Rain Dance deck Wartortle should theoretically be a part of doesn't want to waste any deck space on DCE.

The most effective Rain Dance builds usually skip over Wartortle completely with Pokémon Breeder. But at least you can play a DCE-centric deck with all three middle starters, I guess?

Grade: 4/10

Blastoise defines the Water-type, for better and for worse. Not many Water 'mons were printed with powerful or efficient attacks, presumably out of fear of this one card.

But this card is also the engine of destruction that fuels the strongest Stage 2 deck in the metagame. Blastoise single-handedly turns every Water-type attack into a turn 2 attack, and can charge up multiple attackers per turn. It's hard to overstate how strong that really is.

Grade: 10/10

Psyduck is easily the strongest Water-type Basic, although it actually functions more like a Psychic-type. This is because its first attack, Headache, is absurd. Locking your opponent out of Trainers can put them way behind, or prevent the use of key cards that you don't want to see. (Like Super Energy Removal.)

As a result, Psyduck sees play in various decks as a control option. Try using Lass after a few turns of Headache to really make their heads spin. It's also a decent Water-type attacker, though that's easy to forget sometimes.

Grade: 9/10

Golduck is the centerpiece of the only Water-type deck not themed around Blastoise. The exact lineup can change from build to build, but the general idea is to use some combination of Golduck, Dragonair, and/or Poliwrath to remove energy from the opponent until they're left helpless.

Some builds go as minimal as a single copy of Golduck, while others try to combine some mix of all three attackers into a single deck. It's an underexplored deck, but maybe that's for the best, since it's cruel and unusual.

Grade: 7/10

Poliwag gives us our first glimpse of Water Gun. This attack scales with the number of Water Energies attached, but only at a value of 10 damage per energy. This ultimately makes it a painfully inefficient attack, and they spammed it all over early Water-type cards, probably under the assumption that they would have support from Blastoise.

I hope I don't need to tell you that a 40 HP basic doing an average of 10 damage per energy card is pretty bad.

Grade: 2/10

Poliwhirl is a good card to skip over with Pokémon Breeder. Miserable HP for a Stage 1 and a painfully inefficient damaging attack. Poliwag can do 30 damage without coin flips for the same amount of energy!

Amnesia is the one slightly interesting element here. It can completely shut down a card that only has one attack, or can turn off the opponent's most damaging attack to stall for a turn. Rest assured that any points Poliwhirl gets in its grade are exclusively due to Amnesia shenanigans.

Grade: 3/10

Poliwrath is a respectable Stage 2 that asks you to put two terrible cards in your deck to get to it. That's usually a deal-breaker. Water Gun is inefficient, as always, and kind of insulting here, since Blastoise can do 10 more damage for the exact same energy investment.

Whirtlpool, on the other hand, is pretty tempting. You can have it ready by turn 3 with a DCE, and doing 40 damage while removing energy is bonkers. It's just a shame that this card is dragged down so far by its previous forms.

Grade: 6/10

Tentacool is a weirdo. It can block a weak attack and then return to your hand, but that's all it does on its own. It also has free retreat, although you won't need it since you're probably not attaching energy to it.

It does have a neat trick with Damage Swap, though. By putting 2 damage counters on Tentacool and then using Cowardice to return it to the hand, you essentially get a reusable Potion. For this reason alone it has a niche role in the metagame, but not a very impressive one.

Grade: 4/10

Tentacruel looks so much like it could have maybe been good, but it just isn't. Free retreat is great. Guaranteed poison is nice. And then, in theory, you would keep trying for confusion while the poison racks up damage.

But there are two issues. First, Tentacruel has 60 HP. There are a lot of ways to kill it in one hit. Second, it's a painfully passive card. While you're sitting there trying for status, your opponent might be making tangible progress or even just running you out of cards. You should just pass on Tentacruel.

Grade: 3/10

Seel...exists? This might be the most appropriate card design of them all, if they were trying to make it just as forgettable as the source material.

Decent HP for a Basic. Nothing outlandishly wrong with it. Headbutt is underwhelming for the energy cost, but at least it actually can attack on the first turn. That's already a step up from the similar Growlithe. Seel was essentially designed to be the least interesting card in the game, and they succeeded.

Grade: 4/10

Dewgong was one of the best partners for Blastoise, at least until the Fossil set was released. It's still not bad, though. 80 HP for a Stage 1 is solid, and doing 50 damage for 3 energy is more efficient than most other Water-type attackers.

Even Ice Beam manages to pull its weight here. It looks like an over-costed attack (and it kind of is) but there are plenty of situations where you would've knocked out the opponent in two shots either way, so trying for paralysis first isn't a terrible idea. Overshadowed nowadays, but not bad at all.

Grade: 7/10

This Shellder card exists, but I will forever be curious as to why it exists. The core concept of landing confusion and then hiding in its shell actually sounds really fun and annoying, but at a meager 30 HP it can't afford to go all-in on the luck-based strategy that the card demands.

I don't think it will surprise you to hear that this card doesn't have a home in the metagame. In fact, it might be the worst Water-type Basic ever printed. I'd rather use any Magikarp card than this Shellder.

Grade: 1/10

This Cloyster is one of the worst pokémon cards ever printed in the history of the game, full stop. 50 HP for a Stage 1 is inexcusable, and it doesn't have some amazing trick up its sleeve to make up for it.

Even worse, it's another low HP 'mon that relies on luck. Coin flips aren't a good gimmick for a 'mon that only has one or two turns to make an impact. It's weird that they represented one of the most famous defensive walls in the early generations with...this.

Grade: 1/10

Krabby is okay. You can use Call for Family to start setting up a second Krabby. Afterwards, I tend to just let the active Krabby take damage to set up for Kingler's Flail while I charge up a different team member (like the benched Krabby you just called up).

I don't like that Irongrip costs 2 energy for 20 damage, but I can't in good conscience call this a "bad" card. Just a mediocre one.

Grade: 4/10

Kingler could have been SUCH a good card with 20 more HP. Flail does allow Kingler to do decent damage for a low investment, and if you can get 3 energy cards onto another Kingler you can start doing a solid 40 damage per turn.

It's just barely not making the cut for a competitive deck, but I wouldn't laugh you out of the room if you showed up with a Rage/Flail hybrid deck. Being able to use your best attack for a single energy does give the deck a strange sense of consistency.

Grade: 6/10

Horsea. How can a card be so annoying and still not be meta-relevant? Smokescreen functions just like it does on Fossil Magmar, and is just as obnoxious as ever.

And then the little bastard has a free retreat cost. They didn't need to do that, but they did. This is the one time that I'm actually glad the card has only 40 HP, because this card would be miserable to play against otherwise. It doesn't have a home right now, but it is a good card in a vacuum.

Grade: 5/10

Seadra is the next member of the "crucified for Blastoise's sins" brigade. Water Gun is just as bad as it usually is, and 60 HP is definitely not what you want to see on your evolved 'mon.

Agility is actually a really solid turn 2 attack if you can spare the DCE, though. Or rather, it would be if we ignored the 80 HP Raichu who can do the same thing while also having a deadly second attack to build up to. Ultimately Seadra just isn't worth using in any serious context.

Grade: 3/10

Goldeen does have a free retreat cost. It's got that going for it. That's the only thing it's got going for it, though, and you don't have to stare at the card very long to fully appreciate how boring it is.

Goldeen is so boring that when she tried to talk to the TV it changed the channel. Goldeen is so boring that the Jehovah's witnesses slammed the door in her face. Goldeen is so boring that she cured Hypno's insomnia. Goldeen is so boring that I'd rather google 'Yo Momma jokes' than write about Goldeen.

Grade: 2/10

Evolving really gave Goldeen a new lease on life. Before Goldeen was boring because the only thing it had going for it was a free retreat cost.

But Seaking? Seaking is boring because it has nothing unique to talk about. I guess Waterfall is a decently efficient attack. It's technically resilient against Energy Removal? I am really grasping at straws to try to find some reason that a person would ever discuss Seaking. It's not even bad enough to be interesting in the opposite direction.

Grade: 4/10

Staryu is technically metagame-relevant, if you're willing to take "sees play in the weakest rogue deck" as relevant.

As you might expect, its main claim to fame is the ability to do 20 damage for a single energy. Each of the cards that does this sees at least some niche play, so it shouldn't surprise you that Staryu follows suit. It would be nice if it had at least one other redeeming quality, though.

Grade: 5/10

Starmie is a fan-favorite pokémon, a gym leader's ace, an iconic character from the anime, and one of the most consistently good 'mons in competive play in the main series.

So it's only natural that when representing it in the card game, they made it a (checks notes) pack filler common with inefficient attacks and trash HP. Okay. Sure. On a side note, could I talk to the person who designed this card? I just want to talk, I promise.

Grade: 3/10

Look, if you thought Magikarp was going to be a good card then you've missed the whole point of this Pokémon.

It was a given that it was going to have dismal HP and lame attacks, but the real icing on the cake here is Flail. Giving an attack that scales with damage counters to a pokémon with 30 HP is objectively hilarious. Whoever came up with the design for this card deserves a promotion for capturing everything about Magikarp perfectly. But yes, it's a bad card.

Grade: 1/10

But of course, the payoff for using the worst Water-type in the game is that it evolves into one of the best Water-types in the game. We all know this.

And yeah, Gyarados lives up to the hype. 100 HP. A Fighting resistance. Extremely powerful attacks. It even has a different weakness than Blastoise, although I'd love to hear their reasoning for giving it a Grass weakness. (Typo???) Gyarados usually doesn't see play because it evolves from a living meme, but it's a very good card when judged on its own merits.

Grade: 8/10

Lapras is one of the two main partners for Blastoise. Its attacks are inefficient, as we've come to expect from the Water type, but it does come into play with a mouth-watering 80 HP.

But the real reason it sees play is so that you have at least one decent way to damage Mr. Mime, since Blastoise and its other partner are incapable of doing the low damage necessary to get under Invisible Wall. Being able to attack on the first turn is also nice, even if you only get 10 damage out of it.

Grade: 8/10

Vaporeon is only ever worth playing in tournaments where Promo Eevee is allowed. Outside of that context specifically, this is not a great card.

I suppose it does have a Colorless attack in a type that is almost completely devoid of those, so if you absolutely need a counter for Fossil Magmar, Vaporeon exists. But wasting deck space on a whole evolutionary line just to maybe counter one specific relevant 'mon is more than a little silly.

Grade: 6/10

They really screwed up with the fossils. Omanyte is almost the exact same card as Poliwag, except that it's a Stage 1 instead of a Basic, which makes the low numbers a lot less forgivable.

Omanyte does have a Pokémon Power, which is presumably their way of apologizing for this travesty. But looking at your opponent's hand is rarely worth the effort, since they can just play cards the same turn they draw them, while you're unable to react.

Grade: 2/10

If Omastar were a Stage 1 Sokémon, then I would charitably describe it as "average." Maybe even slightly above average (What a thought!).

But it's a Stage 2. You have to get Mysterious Fossil in play, then include either Omanyte or Pokémon Breeder in your deck, and the big scary payoff just never happens. Spike Cannon doing an average of 30 damage for 2 energy is fine. Efficient even. But this card is completely missing the X factor that would make you gravitate toward a Stage 2 in the first place.

Grade: 2/10

Articuno is the best partner for Blastoise, period. It has no weakness, decent bulk, and extremely powerful attacks. It's everything Rain Dance wants, which ultimately pushes anything not named Articuno out of the discussion.

The only reason you wouldn't run Articuno in a Rain Dance deck is if you're playing an extreme turbo build that only has Blastoise in it. Now I'm not sure if Articuno would be worth using if Rain Dance didn't exist, but it does exist, and is easily one of the better decks in the format.

Grade: 8/10

As you can see, Blastoise completely dominates discussion when it comes to the Water type. If Rain Dance were a little less powerful then maybe some of these cards could have been designed differently, or perhaps they could have designed a second archetype of cards that has anti-synergy with Rain Dance.

As it stands, I personally think that Rain Dance ended up costing a lot of design space. It's such a fun deck to play with that you might argue throwing most of the Water-type under the bus for it was a worthy trade, but I do have to wonder about what could have been. Theories aside, Rain Dance will probably always be THE way to play Water decks in the Base-Fossil metagame.